Last week, Andy Grammer dropped a new hit single called, “Fresh Eyes”. The platinum recording artist is known for his upbeat and positive music, which is highlighted on his two albums. Best known for his songs, “Keep Your Head Up”, which was highlighted in the first Pitch Perfect, and the infamous, “Honey, I’m Good.” First […]
A few years back, when I was working for my local radio station, I had the opportunity to meet a really amazing artist, Maggie Rose. Her voice on CD barley does her justice at all. Seeing her perform acoustically was insane! Girl has pipes. She recently came out with a new song called, “Love Me More”. It’s life. No, really, it is so beautifully done. It’s everything I needed at this point in my life.
Without going into detail, I have tried really hard for something that has not consistently tried for me. Funny right? I mean, I am not perfect, in fact I’ve made more mistakes than Thomas Edison did with the light bulb. I am owning them. Here are somethings I am learning from this song, from life and from every experience past-present.
Choosing.
Something, super important, that I have learned from marriage (that applies to pretty much anything): it’s like a fire. In order to keep a fire going you must constantly be putting logs on it. In your relationships or friendships, you must keep the fire lit. You must choose the next best log and build it up so that the foundation is warm, so no gusts of wind suffocate what you’ve built. Motivation is the same, you don’t wake up and feel motivated and then stay there, it takes work. You haaaave to put more logs on to feed the flame and feel more motivated.
You have to wake up and choose the experience you want for the day.
It’s easy to wake up and be grumpy. To stump your toe, burn your tongue on coffee and then spill your lunch on your lap. It seems to always spiral downward, and if I’m honest, that’s because you are choosing to react in a negative way.
LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE.
If I wake up happy and something bad happens, I have to choose, do I want to let it upset me so deeply that it ruins me? Or can I move forward and brush it off? In my experience, it’s easier to move forward. You truly do get to choose the day you have, the relationship you want, and anything in between. The topics may vary but the reactions are always the same.
To be intentional.
I googled this today for a friend, because I was trying to explain what I was anticipating from people in my life. Something I am 100% firm on. To be intentional takes a lot of self awareness. To know where you’re going, what you want & how you will get it. To be intentional is also ONE STEP further than that. You have to actually make sure that all of your actions and behaviors are aligning with the goal. My best example is to pretend you’re on a diet. Pretend you’re faced with pizza (or whatever your weakness is) EVERYDAY. To be intentional would be to eat your damn vegetables and hit the gym after. Aligning your actions and work with the goal. This is something I hope so many people work on, because it’s an extremely great characteristic.
This seems like a tall order because sometimes I can barely put pants on and get my kids ready for school. Sometimes I eat an entire pizza to myself. I just think what makes me different is that I do see what I want and I am not scared of the future, most people are.
To have purpose.
I think this goes hand in hand with being intentional. I think defining your purpose is so important. What makes you get out of bed? What makes you run an extra mile at the gym? What makes you take an extra shift at work? What makes you turn down Friday Happy Hour with friends? To know your purpose is to be self aware. To wear your heart on your sleeve and not be scared because you know, without fear, what is next.
Faith/Inner Peace.
These two go hand in hand and are extremely simple in their complexity. You have to have faith in the future. Have faith that God, the universe, whatever you believe in, has brought you here to perfect your own self. You have to see the road ahead of you and know it’s all going to be okay. Even if you fake it until you start believing in that fully.
Inner peace, for me, came from being shattered so many times. From being mentally and emotionally DONE FOR. I eventually got to this place where I was like, “yep, you can do XYZ and that’s not going to bring me down.” Inner peace is not being moved by the naysayers.
Living outside the lines.
Have you ever seen those extremely beautiful watercolor paintings where the paint is sliding down the painting? Yeah, it’s FREAKING BEAUTIFUL! Why? Because it’s different. Because most anyone can make a picture that’s colored inside the lines beautiful, but to actually make something look good that is abnormal, that’s amazing. That’s LIFE!! Absolutely there are boundaries and sometimes you have to push them, in fact, you always should. Living outside of your comfort zone, that’s where the change happens. Not fearing what’s on the other side of the line is super important.
Who am I doing this for?
If the answer is not you, rethink.
Hear me out:
I have 3 kids, 2 dogs & 2 cats. I have major responsibilities to them, I have responsibilities to my clients for work, I have responsibilities to my friends, the people close to me, MY FAMILY.. The list is really endless and in all honesty, it’s exhausting sometimes. Yep, I said it. It’s exhausting. Why? Because I have been known to burn my candle from both ends. I have been known to put other people, my kids, my family members, my friends, BEFORE MYSELF. It is common, especially as a mother, to make sure all of your children have what they need before you do, in the terms of care and nurturing, that’s amazing! Just think of how my girlfriend said it to me, when your plane is crashing, they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before you put it on your child. Why? Because if you’re gasping for air, you cannot properly care for your child, or anyone else in the cabin.
I recently had the opportunity to travel to Boston and Florida. I took it, not because I am a horrible mother, but rather, I have learned that I need to put myself first. I need to care about me so that I can care for others. There is nothing wrong with this realization. It’s hard though! Learning I can no longer pour from an empty cup has been a bitter pill to swallow. I don’t want to not put other people first, I don’t want to come off as selfish or unloving… But, at the same time, I know I have to do certain things to ensure my own sanity.
Who are you getting fit for? YOU.
Who are you going to school for? YOU.
Who are you working for? YOU.
Working out may lead to a longer, healthier life that you can spend with your children and family, but you’re doing it FOR YOU.
You may be going to school to get a degree in a well-paying field that will ultimately make life more comfortable for you and your family, but you’re doing it FOR YOU.
You may have a boss who is a total asshole who takes you for granted and can’t say thank you (if that’s the case, LEAVE)! You may be working 60 hours a week for a company that pays decent and in turn you can put food on the table and clothes on your back, but who you’re working for IS YOU.
Make sure all of these things are in alignment.
If you’re anything like me, this will be the hardest part.
Love yourself more.
There are people in your life that you will fight for, tooth and nail. These people will be close to you that you have, quite frankly, given too much of yourself to already.
To know that you’ve already crossed an ocean for them and would do so over and over again is one thing. To be taken advantage of is another. I love the quote circling Facebook that says this: “Don’t cross oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for you. No, do it. Do cross oceans for people, all people. No conditions attached, no wondering whether or not they are worthy. Cross oceans, climb mountains. Life and love isn’t about what you gain, it’s about what you give.” Legitimately the most beautiful thing I have ever read. The only time this doesn’t apply is when you have done this repeatedly to only be beaten and broken by the same person. This is when you say, “I love you, but I love me more.” And cut them from your life. Sometimes you can only give so much of yourself before it becomes an abusive pattern that will never help you advance in your life. There is beauty in this path, as learning to let go is extremely important to loving and knowing yourself.
Living.
Feelings are hard because they demand to be felt. My advice? Feel them. You have no other way to get through life but to make sense of the experiences. You can’t go over or under, you have to lean in and go through it. This is living. When you’re 98 and you’re in the rocking chair surrounded by the people that matter the most, what will your testament be? Will you tell them all that you’ve actually built a life and actually lived in the process or are you going through the motions? Life is not the mountains in the distance, it’s the valleys along the way. Remember that!
Scars.
“Baggage”. We all have it. We all have been hurt and scarred by the past. We all have one story to tell that has made us who we are, a defining turning point in which we can dwell on or put in our backpack and carry with us. They say that it’s not the weight that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it. How are you carrying your baggage? How did you repair the damage done to you and how will you work with it in the future? Guys, I was almost killed. I don’t get anxiety about it even half as much as I used to.. Which is important in my story. The fact that I let this story empower me, not weigh me down, has changed me for the better.
Knowing your scar is there and how to dress it, is the most important part of this self awareness journey. Which is why….:
Owning it.
Is so important. To see it, to feel it, to know it’s there and to say, “HELL YEAH!! I did that! I overcame.” This is what life is about. You have feelings, to own them, to be them, to never be fearful of them, that’s what matters. To grow and move on past the scar and into the “owning it” stage, is to live. Own your life, the decisions you make, the feelings you have, the path you choose. Know that no matter what, this life you’ve been gifted is not a mistake. You have a bigger purpose.
My light is bright.
Are you seeing the light at the end of the tunnel? Do you see the light that’s around you? Look at how people respond to you. Not everyone will be compassionate, kind or empathetic… but are you? Are you willing to continue to be a flashlight for someone who is in the dark?
For me, I know that my light is guiding me into greatness. I can feel it. I know when I walk into a room people want to talk to me, or to learn about me. I know I can use my experiences for the better- that I can move people for the better. It’s important to know, but it’s even more important to feel. Where is your light taking you?
Your vibe attracts your tribe.
My dad told me growing up that I was becoming who I hung out with. He never let me hang out with people up to no good. Thank you, Dad. I think this has shaped me a lot. I am VERY hesitant about who I let in my life. But for now, I am looking for people that can match my stride and carry me when needed. I want to carry them too. I will not keep anyone in my life with negative or debbie-downer personalities. LIFE IS TOO DAMN SHORT. I have so much to see and so much to do in life and I will not sit around with a bunch of people who don’t see the true beauty and miracles that happen day to day. If you follow me on social media, you see how real I am. If I’m crying, if I’m thankful, if I’m pissed, you guys know it. I am transparent. I will not keep people in my inner circle who are not transparent or real. You have to let your vibe out and then let it attract the tribe that fits into your life. Make the perfect puzzle.
I hope you enjoyed this rant. It means a lot to me to have a safe place to express my feelings without a character limit. If you read this, please take this to heart and work towards these things.
Smile.
You are so important.
You are worthy.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
Whoa.
I have been saying for months that “I haven’t been angry until now.” But re-reading here, I know that’s not true. I’m not the same which is sad, I am not warm anymore. Or, I am but not the way I wanted to be… I completely turned some pages, especially with this court shit and now it’s back in my face. To make a long story longer, I have to go back to court, which will result in trial. I have to relive something I was able to close and start working through internally. To say I am shattered would be an understatement. 4/15/15 I went to court and watched that asshole sit and laugh with his new defense attorney. LAUGHING… enjoying himself. Paying no mind to the hurt that is filling me from the deepest of the deep places. THIS IS A GAME TO HIM. This isn’t even about who is right or wrong, or who is feeling the most… it is a fucking sick, twisted game. It’s not fine. I am not okay. I am not okay that someone else can use my anger to their advantage after he came in and placed a fucking tornado in the middle of my life. He appealed his sentence, said he didn’t understand. THAT’S CUTE, you know you SIGNED the plea agreement, BEFORE WE EVEN GOT TO GO TO TRIAL, right? His decision. Not anyone else’s and the judge explained the terms many times, I understood what was happening and I don’t understand basically anything court related. My question: why is he allowed to appeal something? Why does he get to speak in court? He is a prisoner. He committed a violent crime. I don’t understand. I feel like a prisoner and I feel like he plays the victim. Something is so backwards and wrong.
I’ve got so much guilt, you know? I used to feel guilty that he was sitting in jail. But no longer… Now I am guilty because I feel like I am wrecking the family by fighting in court, I am wrecking my children because I am not able to be present mentally, I am wrecking my marriage because I don’t want to be intimate– I am failing!! At least, I really feel like I am. I’m so disgusted that this is back in my life and taking up any space and there he is LAUGHING. I just want to feel like I am even a shell of what I was before this happened. To feel a connection or a bond with anyone would be such a blessing.
I told myself to not place a time-frame on my healing and I haven’t, but sheesh. It has been 2.5 years now. My anxiety subsided after I closed the chapter on the last day of court, but it’s back every now and then and it’s super random and painful.
Then, in court, to strengthen our case, we are including the kids as victims. Before, it was too much to do because I was the one that asked to leave them home alone instead of taking them in some psycho asshole’s car. I never understood the reasoning, but I am so happy we are now charging him with endangerment… However, this morning when I woke up, I saw mail from the county attorney’s office addressed to the boys. What? Ugh!!! I opened it and it was their victim rights. They, too, were victims of a violent crime. There is that guilt shit. I feel guilty. They shouldn’t ever have to go through this. PERIOD. They shouldn’t have to be dealing with anything like this, and they do, just because I do. Parenting is hard enough as it is then to add this into the mix. Everything happens for a reason. I don’t think I could have prevented this from happening unless I went back in time and stood my ground like I had a feeling I should have… Then he wouldn’t have known where I lived, then he wouldn’t have showed up, then I would have went on in life without being a victim, I would have been a good mom and I would have had less problems.
Buttttttt here I am. It happened. I can’t change it.
I will fight him in court, I will win. I will give him my best fight and I will succeed. I will continue to be a mom to my 3 beautifully charming and perfect kids. I will be strong. I will take deep breaths and continue to see the best in people. I will keep paying it forward. Working on myself. Working on my perception. I will NOT let him win, despite any of my feelings. It’s just so shitty to have opened up again and sometimes, I feel like I can’t take it.
Blah.
Here it is: the story you have been waiting for. Before you read it, here’s the disclaimer: I am happier now than I have been in years. My faith and peace are unshakeable. I have no ill thoughts, no death wishes, nothing. I am calm. I’ve prayed and prayed about this, I’ve rebuilt my rocks and placed them strategically around me. To those of you who have been by my side, strong and brave for me, I will be eternally grateful! I do not want a pity party, this story is being sent to public for me. I want to tell people that this can happen to anyone, if you have a bad feeling about someone it is probably a valid feeling and you should probably not avoid it. With that being said, also don’t tell me you’re sorry. I’m not. This was by no means an exceptional event in my life, but I’m so glad it happened. I have learned so much about who is around me, about myself and about what I should expect as treatment from people around me. I’m also rebuilding my confidence from the ground up. In no way, shape, or form could I classify this as a “bad” event. Could it be labeled traumatic and life-changing? Yes. I will forever be changed.
I love this song and these guys. They are amazing and the words are just so… RIGHT. This is how I’m feeling to a T right now.
3 Doors Down-Let Me Be Myself
I guess i just got lost
Bein’ someone else
I tried to kill the pain
Nothin ever helped
I left myself behind
Somewhere along the way
Hopin to come back around
To find myself someday
Lately i’m so tired of waiting for you
To say that it’s ok, but tell me
Please, would you one time
Just let me be myself
So i can shine with my own light
Let me be myself
Would you let me be myself
I’ll never find my heart
Behind someone else
I’ll never see the light of day
Living in this cell
It’s time to make my way
Into the world i knew
Take back all of these times
That i gave in to you
Lately i’m so tired of waiting for you
To say that it’s ok, but tell me
Please, would you one time
Let me be myself
So i can shine with my own light
And let me be myself
For a while, if you don’t mind
Let me be myself
So i can shine with my own light
Let me be myself
That’s all i’ve ever wanted from this world
Is to let me be me
Please would you one time
Let me be myself
So i can shine with my own light
Let me be myself
Please would you one time
Let me be myself
So i can shine with my own light
Let me be myself
For a while, if you don’t mind
Let me be myself
So i can shine with my own light
Let me be myself
Would you one time… oooh
Let me be myself
Let me be me
I guess when it comes down to it, I want to know when I stopped being allowed to be human… Yeah, I am a mother of two amazing boys and a wife, but why does that mean I have to be or do anything different? I am a responsible parent. My kids will NEVER go without anything they need, I work my ass off to make sure this house is clean, clothes are washed and taken care of and that a delicious and nutritious dinner is on the table. I love doing all of those things and I love being a mother… But being a wife, I want to know when I lost the privilege to do my own thing/be my own person. I think marriage is awesome, when it’s right. I don’t know what I really think about it besides that. I just am not sure anymore about so many things…. I feel like for me, things are so one-sided. It gets frustrating and begins to make me feel worthless. Because of what happened to me on Halloween I have changed a little bit. Sometimes I don’t want to be held as tight, I need a little extra protection so my mind stays on the straight and narrow, I don’t have a drive for things like I used to have and I am changing my group of spectators. I am working to achieve happiness from the inside out, not just the outside. I am hoping that one day being myself is good enough to make someone happy, when obviously, I am viewed as something a little more unworthy here. I love relationships, I love psychology, I love learning about people, talking to them, getting to know what’s going on inside of their heads, or what’s NOT going on inside their heads… Sometimes though, people just make it hard. My point here is that I am human. I make mistakes by default, I want to feel normal sometimes, sometimes I need a little breather away from the house. There is nothing wrong with these things. I feel as long as it is not affecting me as a mother or, even as a wife then it shouldn’t matter. I have boundaries, I think we all do… Silent ones. They may not seem to be there, but they are… I may push them to some extent but that’s what is part of me being human. I am the type of person that accepts the people I love for who they are, no further expectations, no less. I will always question things, I think because I am an Aquarius and a naturally CURIOUS person, I am constantly saying, “who/what/where/when–and always WHY?” The chances are, if you are getting close to me, I am trusting you, giving you a part of me that is breakable, part of my heart. I will try to understand you, to every degree of your person… That’s who I am. I realize that not everyone is this way, but it does make me curious to know how some people, even if pretending, can turn the cheek and not care, focus inward. I will tell you what, there is no stronger relationship I will have than the one I have with myself and I will not have a relationship a step down from that if it is not right. If it is not give and take and amazingness back and forth, even the bad fights don’t seem so bad, that’s what I want. I don’t want to be constantly feeling like discarded trash, especially because of how deeply I love and care, even when I’m not showing it. I just am trying to maybe get this all out of my head, on here, maybe it will all make more sense to me. Probably not. My head is a weird place to be. It’s a weird combination of knowing exactly what I want and being confused as hell… But at the end of the day I am true to myself. I think that’s all that REALLY matters. The rest will fall away, no matter how easy/hard it is.
I found this artist by listening to iHeart Radio on an Ingrid Michaelson station. Love this song and her voice… And the meaning of this song. I love the line, “And whichever way you turn, I’m gonna turn the other way.” That pretty much sums up a few of my feelings right now.
“Before It Breaks”
Around here, it’s the hardest time of year
Waking up, the days are even gone
The collar of my coat
Lord help me, cannot help the cold
The raindrops sting my eyes
I keep them closed.
But I’m feelin’ no pain
I’m a little lonely and my quietest friend
Have I the moonlight? Have I let you in?
Say it aint so, say I’m happy again
Say it’s over, say I’m dreaming,
Say I’m better than you left me
Say you’re sorry, I can take it
Say you’ll wait, say you won’t
Say you love me, say you don’t
I can make my own mistakes
Let it bend before it breaks
I’m all right. Don’t I seem to be?
Aren’t I swinging on the stars?
Don’t I wear them on my sleeve?
When you’re looking for a crossroads,
It happens every day
And whichever way you turn,
I’m gonna turn the other way
Say it’s over, say I’m dreaming,
Say I’m better than you left me
Say you’re sorry, I can take it
Say you’ll wait, say you won’t
Say you love me, say you don’t
I can make my own mistakes
Learn to let it bend before it breaks
Say it’s over say I’m dreaming,
Say I’m better than you left me
Say you’re sorry, I can take it
Say you’ll wait, say you won’t
Say you love me, say you don’t
I can make my own mistakes
Let it bend before it breaks
An amazing song written by Chris and his lead guitar player, Josh Steely. I have always loved this song… Something everyone can relate to something in their life and who can’t love these guys? They could rescue me from the middle of the ocean if they wanted. Carnival cruise time?
Our story’s old,
Older than the wind,
It’s been this sad for years,
How can we pretend,
When we all know just how it’s gonna end.
Rescue me,
In the middle of the ocean,
Crashing down, it’s always hard to breathe,
Some say its easier to give up on it,
I say it’s time to rescue me.
Lost and lonely people staring back,
Afraid to try,
Some of them here, the same as you and I,
The differences are all but left behind,
So I need you now
Rescue me,
In the middle of the ocean,
Crashing down, it’s always hard to breathe,
Some say its hard to make the changes,
Rescue me and I’ll never be the same,
Rescue me,
In the middle of my darkest hour,
Time will tell,
I never really had the power,
Some say it’s easier to give up on it,
I say its time to rescue me.
We gotta get out,
How foolish have we been
To say it’s all been a waste of time?
We may lose, and we may win,
But like the sun we will rise again.
Rescue me,
In the middle of the ocean,
Crashing down, it’s always hard to breathe,
Some say its hard to make the changes,
Rescue me and I’ll never be the same,
Rescue me,
In the middle of my darkest hour,
Time will tell,
I never really had the power,
Some say it’s easier to give up on it,
I say its time to rescue me.
Rescue me,
In the middle of the ocean.
“Anyone that cannot respect your individual way of healing, grieving, recovering or coping can just get the hell out. And I would gladly share my thoughts with those people. No one knows what you went through. No one can put themselves in your shoes, and no one can judge you or advise you when you should be ‘over it’. That isn’t something you ‘get over’. Ever. It is something you learn to handle, come to accept as an event in your past. It gets easier as time creates distance from the event, but it doesn’t erase it. It doesn’t make it seem like it never happened. Anyone that expects that is selfish and close-minded.” – A dear friend of mine.
I’ve gotten a lot of advice and guidance today, this was one of the best pieces. It’s true. I need time to heal, to emotionally take a breather. I don’t want anyone to tell me “it’s been 5 months, you shouldn’t even be thinking about this anymore.” Or, “I don’t know why you don’t just change your thinking.”
First of all, you never just change your thinking. You never just sit back and say, “oh, you know what, it’s been 5 months, the rest of the world has moved on, I need to, too.” No. The world revolves and sometimes you stand still, other times you move with it. I am not purposely holding myself back from anything. I am not PURPOSELY dragging my healing out for any reason. I am simply taking my time. Taking the back way. I am trying to become a better version of me! At 23 I have been through and seen most things most people only see in movies, but its not always as bad as what other people have seen or been through. That’s why I started this blog. If you can gain some sort of selfless perspective from my writing then, I think, I’m doing my job.
Secondly, I want to talk about what I’m going through. Not only do I want to let it out, get it off my chest, put it in open space and let it travel, I want to help someone with my story. I think I can help many women, moms, or even your teenage girls. I don’t want to make someone constantly look over their shoulder, but I think it’s important to be aware and know the facts. Know that it happens to anyone not just in movies or on TV, and nobody is going to say, “Looksie, she has her kids with her, I will wait for a better time and come back.” There is no time like right now, my friends. With that being said, there are so many people that judge, want to talk about it. I don’t mind the judging… I don’t mind the talking… I mind who you do it to. I am alive and well, willing to speak and hear. If you need to talk, let’s do it. Or if you want to ask me questions, do it. Some of my best friends were made my best friends because they weren’t afraid to approach me with questions/conversations that you can’t have with most people. I’m not saying I rock, but I’m saying I’m here. So when I do talk about this event, I want you to get a hold of me in private or here. Don’t connect with your best friend or my best friend, or my family members. I am going to try to protect as many people as I can in the course of my writing and I know somewhere along the lines I will be judged and someone is bound to be pissed at me. I say: LET IT FLY… Be mad at me all you want, but this is officially my story and my life event. I will talk about it when I’m ready and however I want.
Thirdly (haha, Ellen), I am shocked by the audacity of some people. I’m just saying that and leaving it there. I will tell you why, later. I also have a certain tenacity to me that would make is seem like I have a lot of audacity, which in some sense I do… But not the selfish, pigheaded, YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT, kind. Like I don’t mind plain and simple telling you how I feel about you, which if I love you, you probably hear me say that more than you hear/see me say anything else. Which is why you should feel bad for the people I’m irritated with or decide to judge me for this shit. You cannot begin to understand the AUDACITY some people have, of course, until I tell you. I will tell you, I left the court room today crying. I’ve never cried in there. Not even once. As stupid as I felt, it also felt good to get it out, I really need some type of catharsis. In tears as I was walking away, I gladly stared down the face of the people that don’t understand and should. Looked them in the eyes and wished them to hell… Because they make me want to stand on top of a mountain and scream “FUCK YOU.”
Posting a song.
Goodnight and God speed. I will write about the other stuff really soon.
This song is just amazing and I love them, pretty much sums up my feelings today. Mumford and Sons- you rock.
It’s empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you’ve left behind
The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat
But I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again
Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I’ll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears
But I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again
So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker’s land
So make your siren’s call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it’s meant to be
And I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again
T.M.Alli 